


I Hear Your Voice

by Lulubellisima



Series: I Dream in Reylo [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, F/M, First Meetings, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:27:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23216266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lulubellisima/pseuds/Lulubellisima
Summary: Ben has seen Rey in his dreams since he was ten. He's been in love with her his whole life. One day he finally gets to see her in person.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: I Dream in Reylo [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1669159
Comments: 19
Kudos: 80





	I Hear Your Voice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ever-so-reylo (Ever_So_Reylo)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ever_So_Reylo/gifts), [KyloTrashForever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyloTrashForever/gifts).



> Surprise! Soooo...my fingers slipped and I made Ben's POV of my supposed one-shot...I HAD TO OK. Ben needed his story out there too. Funny thing, this one is longer than Rey's version. Ben has a lot to say. =) 
> 
> Once again, thank you to @KTF_Reylo and @EverSoAli for being the wonderful human beings that they are. My gift to you: more reading! hehehe. 
> 
> This has not ben betaed, pardon the horribleness.

Ben grabs his guitar from the stand in his living room, placing it carefully into its case. It’s been a long week, which usually makes him want to stay in his apartment and not go out, but he needs to unwind. The best way to do that for him is by going to his favorite cafe, playing his guitar, and belting out his feelings. 

Especially tonight, he’s been off all day. It started with his wallet, left on the kitchen counter this morning, causing him to miss the train when he went back for it. Then the case he’s working on, which is at a standstill because the paperwork is not complete. Ben sent a very strongly worded email to another case worker regarding that. Add to it the fact he had to go into work early on his only Saturday off this month--well, it just hasn’t been his day. 

He really should just stay home and relax, but there’s a strange feeling in his gut. He can’t explain it, he only knows that he should go out there, tired or not. Ben thinks to himself that today might be the day. Maybe she will hear his voice. Of course he’s said that to himself so many times before, he really shouldn’t raise his hopes up. 

It’s been twenty years, two months, and seventeen days since he first dreamt of her. Ben remembers that day so clearly. His parents arguing again, and sure to turn into the topic of him. 

Ben wonders if they even care about him, or if he is just something they keep out of guilt. Ben is sitting on the steps of their grand staircase, hearing his mother yell at his father, berating him for not being home enough. Which leads to his father yelling that it is her who isn’t home enough. 

Their screaming match continues for a few more minutes, before they mention Ben. “What are we going to do with Ben?” his mother asks. Hurt and anguish fill Ben, he is only ten years old. How could he be a bother to his parents already? 

Sure he is needy, and sometimes grumpy. A "rich loner" one of his classmates has called him. He threw that tantrum the other day because his dad didn’t want to go with him to the park. Then the other tantrum because his mother wouldn’t tuck him in bed. He remembered another before that, but can’t remember _why_ he got mad. Maybe they are right. He is a nuisance. No wonder they don’t love him. 

“We can send him to Luke.” 

“He’s a psychiatrist and he’ll know what to do?”

Ben stands from the steps and heads straight to his room. He can’t remember crying as much as he does that night, either before or after it. When the tears finally subside and he falls asleep, that’s when he sees her. 

A little girl is lying on a dirty linoleum floor, her skinny arms trying to cover her head. A large obese man stands in front of her, a belt hanging from his hand. 

“You’ll get more than that next time girl!” 

The man leaves the room and the girl curls in on herself on the floor. Ben walks forward and kneels beside her. She looks younger than Ben, and much too skinny. 

“Are you hurt?” says Ben. 

The girl looks up, tears streaming down her face. Her big hazel eyes wide with fear. 

“I was just hungry,” she says. 

Ben wakes up, gasping, his chest aching. He can’t get the girl’s eyes out of his memory. Afraid and fragile. 

The following morning his parents send him to his uncle, despite him pleading that they keep him, that he will do better. He doesn’t see his parents for a long time after that. 

Ben continues to see the little girl though. It’s not consistent, there is no schedule he can follow. The dreams come randomly, like they have a mind of their own. They don’t last long either, at least not at first. He can barely say a couple sentences before he wakes up, but as time goes on, the dreams get longer. Ben begins to have longer and longer conversations with her.

She’s very young, barely five years old. She talks about her foster father and how he doesn’t feed her. Ben grinds his teeth and wishes he was older. He would kick the shit out of him if he could. Ben tells her about his family, and how they don’t care about him at all. How he lives with his uncle at his psychiatric facility, who doesn’t understand him either. 

“I understand you,” says Rey, with a toothy smile. 

Ben smiles. “Thanks.” 

She grows older just like he does. Ben likes to think they’re friends by now. She’s probably his only true friend. Except they don’t even know their names. Every night he goes to sleep hoping to dream of her and finally get her name, and tell her his. He wants to know if she’s real, if they somehow share dreams, but every time he forgets. His mind gets fuzzy and all that matters is just talking to her. 

She moves around a lot for a few years. Every dream is a different adventure that she tells him. Some of them good, some of them bad, but always she stays hopeful. Ben wishes he could be as full of it as she is.

Ben can’t see the homes she lives in, not since that first dream. She describes them to him, telling him the things she likes, and then she shows him her drawings. She has dozens of them, all ever changing, her dream home. She says she wants to one day live somewhere green. So the dreams, they are always someplace full of life and sunshine. Like her. 

Ben runs away from his uncle’s facility, and for a few days he’s lost. She’s there for him every night. First under a bridge, then when he falls asleep on a park bench. It’s a miracle that he dreams of her for seven days straight. She’s his constant. Ben doesn’t feel so bad knowing she will be with him at night. 

When his mother and father find him, they bring him home, but it’s not home anymore. Ben is seventeen and he can’t wait to get out. He doesn’t talk to either of them, and they don’t talk with him either. They talk around him, and there are times he sees their faces and thinks they probably wish he hadn’t come back. It is better being lost. Six months later, when he turns eighteen, Ben leaves. With no desire to ever go back. 

Ben takes the money his mother offers to go to college, guilty money as he likes to call it. He never calls or answers her calls. The money never stops coming however. All throughout his schooling, he gets an allowance and his tuition gets paid. He doesn’t hear from his father either. Never even tried. That one hurts a bit more. 

The girl, now a woman, is still there. The dreams come even less often, but when they do it feels even more special. They still talk in dreams, and she gets more beautiful each time. She is sweet and soft, so caring for someone who has been abandoned and hurt. Ben wants to tell her he loves her, that he would do anything for her, but he fears she might not feel the same. He was never good enough for his own parents, why would he be enough for her. 

Ben is sure she won’t like him as much in person. He’s a stock broker, working for the worst man he’s ever met, and yet he can’t get out. He has money, expensive clothes, cars, but nothing fills the void. He works eighty plus hours a week, but nothing he does is ever good enough. The anger is still there and so is the loneliness. 

His father passes away when he’s twenty eight. A stroke his mother tells him over the phone. Funny how the first time he picks up the phone in over a decade, it’s to hear that. He’s numb through the whole funeral, guilt gnawing at his insides. They never made up, never got to talk again. Ben wishes he had. 

He promises himself that he will change that with his mother, and he does. He knows he can’t go back to the life he had before. On the train ride home, he emails his resignation letter. 

He cries himself to sleep. He’s still crying when she sees him in the dream that night. She’s there at his side in an instant, hugging him and making soft circles with her hand on his back. She doesn’t ask anything, she just waits. It takes him some time, but Ben finally tells her. 

“I’m so sorry,” she says, hugging him tightly. "I wish this was real. That I could be with you."

She’s so close to him, the smell of her enticing and sweet. He kisses her neck, his lips lingering on her skin. She sighs, leaning into his touch. Ben can’t remember exactly how things escalate, only that one second he’s kissing her neck, and the next he’s behind her. Both their jeans and underwear pooled at their ankles. She’s breathing heavily and keeps chanting _please, please, please_.

The first time he ever comes inside her is bliss, pure bliss, and he begins to hope that maybe he _can_ be enough. Why would she let Ben touch her if she felt nothing. The feel of her skin, the sounds she makes, how her hands grip his thighs. It all has to mean something. 

He doesn’t dream of her for nearly three months after that. Ben curses whatever brought them together for being so cruel. To give him something so wonderful and then take it away. The next time he dreams of her he’s filled with so much relief it hurts. 

Ben approaches her from behind, wrapping his arms around her middle, bringing his lips to her neck and inhaling. Something is wrong though. She stiffens, and the smell...her smell is wrong.

“I slept with someone,” she says. 

Within a span of a few seconds he’s felt overwhelming elation and utter heartbreak. 

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” she says. The words coming out in a half sob. “I...I just wanted to...I don’t know.”

Rage builds inside him. Did she not feel anything with him? Was he never going to be enough? She can feel his anger and yet she doesn’t move, she keeps her back pressed against him. 

Ben hugs her tightly against his chest, his arms turning into a viselike grip. 

“Why?”

But all she says is, “I want you.” 

So he takes it. Takes all that she offers. The noises she makes are so different, and her body reacts differently too. She comes three times, and it’s still not enough. Their combined liquids gush down their legs, and she still grinds against him, asking for _deeper_ and _harder_. The next night Ben dreams of her again, and this time he doesn’t have to ask and she doesn’t say. She merely pushes down her skirt and panties, and that’s all the permission he needs. 

Ben tries having a relationship, a woman he meets at a fundraiser, but it doesn’t last long. He resorts to flings after that, but they don’t make him feel anything either. Only she does. So he stops trying to connect with someone. It seems pointless. 

Instead Ben focuses on his new work. After leaving the stock exchange, he goes back to school and becomes a child social worker. It’s both joy and misery his job. Every child he encounters in a home or shelter reminds him of the little girl he once saw on a dirty floor. How much he wanted to help her, but couldn’t. So he does what he can with these kids. He fights for them, trying to get them a good home. A home that’s better than the one he ever had or the one he found her in. 

He talks to his mother after he gets done with the very hard cases. Their relationship can never be a very connected one, but what he does have with her is more than he ever hoped for. They even meet a few times a month--for lunch or dinner. Ben can see how she tries and he does his best to match it. She even makes the time to go see him sing. She’s done it a few times. 

The cool breeze feels nice as Ben walks to his favorite cafe, the one he likes to perform at the most. Ben calls this a break. Doesn’t sound like a break to his colleague Poe, who sometimes joins him, but for Ben it relaxes him. 

He decides not to sing for long tonight, just a few songs during the cafe’s peak time. Ben told Poe he would join him and his husband Finn for drinks later. His last song is the one he sings to her in dreams. Ben will sing phrases of it to her as he holds her tight. Her breath trying to come back to normal and her core still pulsing around him. He whispers it into her ear, over and over. Ben wants to leave a part of himself behind, with her. 

When he’s done his eyes open and he sees her standing in the middle of the cafe, tears streaming down her face. She is real, as real as he has wished and was sure of all those years. His mouth is slightly agape, and he can’t believe how lucky he is to see her. Here and not in his dreams. Did his song bring her to him? He hoped that one day they could find each other. Ben is glad, so glad, that finally, his voice brought her to him. 

  
  


_Two Weeks Later_

Rey moans into Ben’s mouth, her hand resting on his chest. Ben has never felt so happy as he has in the last two weeks. The ache in his heart is no longer painful, instead it aches because of how deeply in love he is. 

“Pancakes,” says Rey, breaking their kiss. 

“What?”

“For breakfast. I can make pancakes. Blueberry, your favorite.” 

It doesn’t cease to amaze him the amount of details Rey seems to remember. He can’t even remember when he told her that was his favorite, and yet, she knows. Rey even remembers the day he ran late to one of his classes in college. Which led him to leave his keys in the apartment, locking him out during a downpour, causing him to wait outside his building for nearly three hours, soaked to the bone. 

“It was a rainy Tuesday in November, and because of that you keep a spare set of keys in your top desk drawer and one in your satchel. Oh, and the one in the flower pot on the back porch” Rey recalls. 

Ben guesses that since he remembers her big things: the moment Rey decided to be a children’s book illustrator, why she won’t eat cup ramen anymore, the first apartment she lived in when she came to the city, which was the size of a shoe box, and yet absolutely loved it. Then Rey remembering the smallest of details makes them a perfect pair. 

“Pancakes sound good,” says Ben. 

Rey gets up and begins looking around for her clothes. Upon waking, Ben convinced Rey to continue their previous night’s tryst, to which she giggled and acquiesced. 

Ben hums contentedly, not only is the love of his life naked in front of him, but present, something almost unimaginable until two weeks ago.

“Stop.” 

Ben frowns. “Stop what?”

“Stop looking at me like that. Keep at it and we’ll never leave this room,” says Rey, pulling up her panties and grabbing her shirt. 

Ben grins. “That’s not a bad idea.” 

“We’re meeting your friends Poe and Finn for lunch, remember. We need to eat breakfast and clean up the mess we made in the living room last night. I need to get ready, and we still have to swing by your place to get clean clothes for you.” 

Ben groans. “Lets cancel then. We can go out with them next weekend.” 

Rey gives him a wicked smile. “If you get out of bed,” she says, crawling up the bed to him. “Do the things I said, then tonight I’ll…” 

Rey leans into his ear and whispers something that makes Ben blush all the way to his ears. She leans back and giggles at his reaction. 

“Ok then,” says Ben. 

Rey gives him a quick peck on the lips and then a kiss on both ears. 

“I love you.”

Ben gasps. This is the first time either of them said the words to each other. Not even in their dreams. Ben has known he loves Rey for years now, but didn’t think Rey was ready. 

Rey pulls back, and it is her turn to blush. “I...what I meant…”

Ben doesn’t let her finish. He crushes her with a kiss, pulling her up against his chest, while she straddles his waist. The kiss seems to last an eternity, while in reality it's been mere minutes, but when they break apart, both are gasping for air. 

“I love you,” says Ben. 

Rey grins, her eyes shining brightly. 

“So, pancakes?” says Ben. 

“Yeah...pancakes.”

Ben holds her at the waist and pushes off the bed, causing an onslaught of giggles from Rey as he walks them out of the room. 

Ben watches Rey make pancakes, and he thinks back to the ring he has hidden in his sock drawer. The one he bought a week after they met at the cafe. _Tonight_ , he thinks. _I’ll ask her tonight_. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment. Thanks!
> 
> You can find me on Twitter @Lulu_ology


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